What is a MILF?

I have been referred to as a MILF for quite sometime now.  While I am always flattered as any person usually is when complimented, sometimes I am annoyed. Does it reduce respect for me as a mom? Am I not considered a ‘good’ mom because of my appearance or lifestyle choices?

The term may have been around for much longer (was it used in The Graduate?), but for my generation it rose to fame from the actress Jennifer Coolidge in the 1999 movie American Pie.  “Stifler’s mom”  quickly became a metaphor for MILF.  Attractive mom’s began hearing this word.  How do you explain the meaning without offending them?  And let’s face it, MILF can be extremely offensive.   Stifler’s mom wasn’t seen as much in the movie as the main characters, but her presence was outstanding and very integral to the movie. In my opinion, she portrayed the modern MILF to a T.

I am 2007 98 KUPD’s MILF winner.   I am not sure if I deserved to be a MILF.  Shouldn’t a MILF be older than 32?   I have a teenager who understands the term and a pre-teen who definitely understands.  I have overheard their friends, commenting on my looks.  Though, I have not heard any of them use the acronym MILF  (probably for fear of getting into trouble).  Unlike Stifler’s mom, I don’t have boy’s old enough or having sex. 

While ‘competing’ for the title of MILF for the radio station, I encountered mom’s of babies and toddlers who were younger than I.  I argued in my head if they are old enough to be MILF’s.  Obviously, they are mothers, attractive, and are desired by many BUT,  their children weren’t old enough to even know how lucky they are to have these women as their mothers.  I decided that these women, while different, expressed a certain personality trait to be a MILF (more than just good looks).  They have confidence, which is defined in several ways.  I like this one:   belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.   The contest can be extremely intimidating for a woman who has the battlewounds from pregnancy.  Our hips have widened, stomachs may not have bounced back, our butts are softer, breasts have gotten saggy (or bigger), stretch marks, veins and for some a C-section scar which they feel must be covered/hidden.  Some of us there have had some ‘work’ done to hide some of the battlewounds or fix them.   We all had our reasons, but no one did it to be a MILF. 

This weekend, many of the contestants were asked to promote a MILF calendar at a local casino.  I hesitated to go when I woke up Saturday even though I committed a month before.  I was nervous.  Again, intimidated by these other MILF’s who were newer/younger mother’s than I.  I questioned if I was too old to be doing something like this.  I thought I would be the oldest one there at 32yrs old.  I was aware of 1 MILF who was close to my age, but not sure how close.    I procrastinated getting there hoping something with the kids would come up so I would be forced to cancel.  I even started my youngest on a spelling review expecting him to get upset and make Dana get upset so I would ’have’ to stay home to do it myself.  It obviously didn’t work and he continued to do more school work by choice.  

 I arrived almost 2 hours later than when we were wanted to be there.  I felt pretty good about my appearance.  I have been working out again and watching my diet more closely.  But again, these other MILF’s are models.  Many are pursuing modeling and/or acting, discussing the photographers and agencies they use and appear to be accustomed to working events like this.   I am walking to the entrance of the casino not really knowing what to expect.  All I was told was we would be doing a signing of the calendars and mingle.  Those who wanted to participate in the ’strip’ poker game had already volunteered.  I had agreed to this. 

Because I was tardy, I entered through the front door of the casino to greet a line of people.  Mostly men.  I was directed by a worker as to were to go.  Which, of course, was ‘follow that line of people’.  Now, I know us MILF’s were supposedly a draw to get people to the casino for a poker tournament, but what was this line exactly for?  As I walked confidently along the line of ‘mostly men’, I heard whispers and the typical “daaaamn!’.  (I always roll my eyes when I hear that..with my head turn, of course)  I assume it is my size dd breasts but I like ‘em. :)  I turn the corner to see a long table with 9 beautiful MILFs seated with Sharpies in hand and permanent smiles.   I was shocked.  Were these ‘mostly men’ seriously waiting this long to meet us and receive our signature?  Ok, time to put my game face on.  I find the MILF I know the best and am certain remembers me.  She genuinely smiles at me and is truly excited to see me.  My heart slows down instantly.  I am given a chair almost immediately as if the word got out that I had entered the building.   The 2006 MILF scooted her chair to make room.  I joined the MILF’s with a permanent smile which was surprisingly genuine.   We brought many smiles to the guests in line just by being there.  Was it all just because they want to have sexual relations with us or did they have a certain respect for us?  Or was it  because they had already a few too many?  I really don’t mind the reason.  It was fun for me and obviously for them or they wouldn’t have been there.  Some ‘mostly men’ got in line again to get the May MILF’s signature, which was me.

I asked some of the other MILF’s if they were going to do the ’strip poker’  None of us were too excited for it.  I had come prepared with a couple of bikinis, after all I did agree to do it.  The dreadful announcement came for the MILF’s participating in the game to come to the table.  I had already put my bikini on under my clothes but remained hesitant.  Clearly I am not getting naked, but still it was scary.   Will I lose respect for doing this?  Will some jerk take a picture with his phone and put it on THAT website to focus on my imperfections?  Standing near the table, I saw only 2 MILF’s seated.   It turns out, the casino was pretty upset that only 2  MILF’s were sitting at the table and the manager on duty was pushing the radio station to get more MILFs.  The radio station workers appeared to be in a pickle.  On one side, they respect ‘their MILF’s’ and don’t feel comfortable pushing us to play strip poker.  On the other side, it did appear that they made a commitment to the casino to provide MILF’s for strip poker.  It got very quiet and the remaining MILF’s tried to avoid making eye contact to the radio station or the casino manager on stage.  I knew the MILF’s standing with me on the side didn’t have any bikini’s on to play and we had already stalled too long.  Reluctantly, I walked to the table to play.  I would be stripping to the very same bikini I wear to the public pool with my kids. 

I am part of the ’MILF community’ and receive it as a compliment.   I enjoy motherhood, feeling sexy, and am self-confident.  I am a MILF. 

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 24, 2008 at 14:16 pm and is filed under parents, Weekend. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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