Sunday, November 2, 2008 by karen.

Another Halloween has passed and we have more candy in the house  (I secretly begin to throw pieces away without the kids awareness).  This year Tyler didn’t dress up but still walked around the neighborhood to see friends and neighbors.  Shade has become quite the joker these days.  He decided to dress in my old Raggedy Ann costume.  He wore it to school, and I was surprised to see that he kept it on all day.  He then wore it to trick-or-treat too.    Seth wore his Jango Fett costume which Dana had purchased at a yard sale 2yrs ago for $5.  He loves that costume and it shows.  He will never win ‘best costume’ for it, but it is what he likes. 

 This year, we dressed up the dogs too.  Since I have a large collection of lingerie, Dana came up with the idea to dress the girls (J.J. and Piper) in lingerie and the boy (Lukas) in a wifebeater and boxers.  I have never dressed dogs in clothes before so I truly wasn’t thrilled about this.  The idea, yes.  The actuality of it…no.  I was running behind with getting candy, food, drinks and myself ready that the last thing on my list was dressing the dogs up.  Of course, it quickly became a priority when Dana got home.  They looked great after the pulling and whining and nipping.  They were satisfied with what they were dressed in.  Piper was in a black corset type piece expressing her dominance side, J.J. (rescued from http://azbordercollierescue.com/) was in a sweetheart red 2-piece and Lukas, our leathal white (rescued from http://amazingaussies.com), went as an immature pimp in his wife beater.  Very cute.  Again, the least of my concern, but I (I mean we) pulled it off.  Still struggling to get the kids outside, the table set up and myself showered and dressed, we made it in time to greet the neighbors.  Kids and dogs are in tow.

I took the liberty of holding Piper and Lukas while Dana had control of J.J.  We usually always seperate Piper and Lukas as they are the dominant ones and can be difficult to keep under control as a pair but for some odd reason this time we didn’t.  I wasn’t sure how the pups would react to Halloween.  Piper and Lukas already expressed timidness towards the jack-o-lanterns in the bathroom. 

 The costumes were cute, Shade’s being the most popular (of course they hadn’t seen mine yet) and one neighbor even commented “Karen, wasn’t that your costume a few years ago?”  Yes, it was.  The dogs appeared to be comfortable.  We kept our distance from the kids and sat at the end of the table.  The dogs were under control for the most part. 

Then I heard the youngest daughter of a neighbor comment how she wished she could pet Piper but she was next to Lukas.  Note: she didn’t ask to pet Piper.  I just smiled at her and gave my condolences for her feelings.   I wasn’t ready to start letting the affection for my dogs happen.  I was still getting settled with the kids and who they were walking with, etc…   While my back was away from the neighbors and I was discussing things with Dana, Lukas jerked on the leash and I hear the youngest daughter of my neighbor scream.  I turn to see her running to mommy and she dropped her white pillowcase used for collecting treats.  I was horrified at Lukas and thought for sure he had nipped her in the butt judging by her screaming.  I handed the dogs to Dana and went over to make sure she was ok.  Amazingly, her mother didn’t even question if she was ‘hit’ or not.  She was very busy consoling the crying girl.  I, on the other hand, was searching her white costume for evidence of a nip or bite.  And while I do care for her feelings, more importantly is, did he break the skin.  Once I was able to confirm he did not make contact, I was more at ease.  Many may agree with the consoling initially, but  I prefer we find out if there is a physical issue first.  Upon asking the mom, she wasn’t able to confirm if my dog had made contact.  I was responsible for finding this information out on my own with minimum help.  I had to repeat mysef several times asking if she was bit while the little girl was wailing “I don’t like Lukas!’  and the mom saying “I know, he doesn’t like you either”.  

 You see, there is a history with Lukas and this family along with all the neighbors, are completely aware of it.  I am a responsible pet owner.  If anyone enters my house, I make them aware of Lukas and his nipping habits with kids.  They also know he is deaf and has nipped Seth and another little girl in the neighborhood.  I have taken precautions and consulted his foster dad regarding this.  I have purchased books on the topic.  I consider myself knowledgable on the situation and his behavior.  However, it is still not an excuse for these things to happen.  I firmly believe many situations are 2-way. 

What do you think?  I do not in any way blame the child or mother, but I also don’t blame myself.  Do I blame Lukas?  Absolutely, but he is the most ignorant in the situation and we as humans need to prevent these situations. 

One must also keep in mind, these are not wild animals or fighting dogs.  This breed is known for nipping, not mauling.  They will let go.  They do not lock their jaws or go for the kill. 

Yes, I have been bitten by dogs.  Am I traumatized by this?  Of course not.  In all the cases, I antagonized the dog.  I was taught this by my parents who made sure I understood the reason behind it. 

Disturbia children need to learn proper technique with animals.  My 8yr old is still learning.  My 11yr old is still learning as he had to figure it out on his own the hard way.  Hitting a dog will get you bit.  I am proud to say he still loves this dog as he understands he brought in on himself. 

 I found an article about local elementary students being educated on the topic.   http://www.azcentral.com/pets/articles/2008/10/30/20081030gl-peodogbite1030-ON.html

I must ask, why parents can educate their kids on such topics.  This is one example of why we homeschool our youngest.  

Posted in Holidays, kids, Pets | Print | 1 Comment »

Thursday, September 11, 2008 by karen.

 We have trees.  Our neighbors have trees.  Trees are a grand thing!  They block our noise, sun and hide us from the neighbors.  Unfortunately, the only trees we have are citrus and palm.  These type of trees are beautiful and functional, but they do not provide as much shade as we would like. 

 Our neighbors to the west of us, who our neighbors are probably the best anyone could have living in disturbia, have a beautiful backyard that once had plush grass and is larger than ours.  They tore up the grass and installed desert landscaping leaving the trees.  One must understand having grass in the desert is a lot of work and even more work in disturbia when it must be manicured to appease the HOA and neighbors.    We are limited on owning equipment to maintain a yard due to space.  This causes many to hire landscapers or illegals to do the job for them.    I find it can be a could workout so we do most trimming ourselves.  Even when doing the work yourself, you have the issue of removing the excess.  Having only one large dumpster-like can to put it in can be a problem so having someone else do it and take it away is sometimes easier but can get expensive.  How do some afford a weekly landscaper?

One evening while Dana was polishing the Harley, our neighbor mentioned above, was outside and asked about her tree.  She was inquiring if her beautiful Mesquite tree bothered us.  I responded with an ecstatic ‘no’ stating I loved it.  It provides an excellent source of shade to our backyard in the late afternoons.  I explained it to her and she also commented on how it was growing over our FENCE.  I chuckled.  Do I look like a neighbor who cares if your wonderful shade is growing over my fence? I understand she is only doing her neighborly duty to ask, and I do appreciate it.  She even went on to say they were considering removing the tree to keep us happy.   I really got excited and pleaded her to NOT remove it.  We really do enjoy the tree and if they need assistance with the care of the tree, I would gladly help.  Maybe I should have mentioned, they are up in years and both work full time.  I also told her that when the branches got to be a nuisance  on my side, I simply clipped them and disposed of them properly.  Doing this sort of thing can be a huge no-no in disturbia.  The tree remains.

 A few nights later, we are at the local bar CK’s (again) and run into her son.  After a few drinks, he unpredictably turns to me and asks if their tree bothers us.  *sighs*  Wow!  I didn’t leave disturbia for a few hours to discuss your freaking tree! 

I LOVE THAT TREE.  

He too will make a fantastic neighbor someday!  His parents should be proud he is expresses such consideration. 

Posted in Neighbors, Suburbia | Print | No Comments »

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by karen.

Our 11yr old, as previously mentioned, is a guitar player.  He has received guitar lessons for about 6yrs.  He continues on learning different songs and unless he practices consistently, he forgets them.  This leads to frustration for parents, his teacher, and himself.  Our 11yr old is also pretty good at playing the drums by ear.  He prefers to make up his own music using both the drums and guitar.  Surprisingly, he is really good at it.  While many parents may regret purchasing musical instruments, especially drums, for their children, I thoroughly enjoy listening to him beat around on them.  He can hold a beat that sounds good and then switches to the guitar. 

Today he has a lesson, and I like to have some input for the songs he learns.  As an 11yr old, sometimes he asks his teacher instruct to him on a not song that we don’t feel is appropriate for him.  I am trying to widen his horizons with some Country music.  Last week, he learned Kid Rock’s newer song which is a take on Sweet Home Alabama.  Since we are moving towards more Country-Rock music, I am going to suggest All My Rowdy Friends by Hank Williams, JR.  I think he will like it.

Posted in Music, kids | Print | No Comments »

Sunday, August 24, 2008 by karen.

I have been referred to as a MILF for quite sometime now.  While I am always flattered as any person usually is when complimented, sometimes I am annoyed. Does it reduce respect for me as a mom? Am I not considered a ‘good’ mom because of my appearance or lifestyle choices?

The term may have been around for much longer (was it used in The Graduate?), but for my generation it rose to fame from the actress Jennifer Coolidge in the 1999 movie American Pie.  “Stifler’s mom”  quickly became a metaphor for MILF.  Attractive mom’s began hearing this word.  How do you explain the meaning without offending them?  And let’s face it, MILF can be extremely offensive.   Stifler’s mom wasn’t seen as much in the movie as the main characters, but her presence was outstanding and very integral to the movie. In my opinion, she portrayed the modern MILF to a T.

I am 2007 98 KUPD’s MILF winner.   I am not sure if I deserved to be a MILF.  Shouldn’t a MILF be older than 32?   I have a teenager who understands the term and a pre-teen who definitely understands.  I have overheard their friends, commenting on my looks.  Though, I have not heard any of them use the acronym MILF  (probably for fear of getting into trouble).  Unlike Stifler’s mom, I don’t have boy’s old enough or having sex. 

While ‘competing’ for the title of MILF for the radio station, I encountered mom’s of babies and toddlers who were younger than I.  I argued in my head if they are old enough to be MILF’s.  Obviously, they are mothers, attractive, and are desired by many BUT,  their children weren’t old enough to even know how lucky they are to have these women as their mothers.  I decided that these women, while different, expressed a certain personality trait to be a MILF (more than just good looks).  They have confidence, which is defined in several ways.  I like this one:   belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.   The contest can be extremely intimidating for a woman who has the battlewounds from pregnancy.  Our hips have widened, stomachs may not have bounced back, our butts are softer, breasts have gotten saggy (or bigger), stretch marks, veins and for some a C-section scar which they feel must be covered/hidden.  Some of us there have had some ‘work’ done to hide some of the battlewounds or fix them.   We all had our reasons, but no one did it to be a MILF. 

This weekend, many of the contestants were asked to promote a MILF calendar at a local casino.  I hesitated to go when I woke up Saturday even though I committed a month before.  I was nervous.  Again, intimidated by these other MILF’s who were newer/younger mother’s than I.  I questioned if I was too old to be doing something like this.  I thought I would be the oldest one there at 32yrs old.  I was aware of 1 MILF who was close to my age, but not sure how close.    I procrastinated getting there hoping something with the kids would come up so I would be forced to cancel.  I even started my youngest on a spelling review expecting him to get upset and make Dana get upset so I would ’have’ to stay home to do it myself.  It obviously didn’t work and he continued to do more school work by choice.  

 I arrived almost 2 hours later than when we were wanted to be there.  I felt pretty good about my appearance.  I have been working out again and watching my diet more closely.  But again, these other MILF’s are models.  Many are pursuing modeling and/or acting, discussing the photographers and agencies they use and appear to be accustomed to working events like this.   I am walking to the entrance of the casino not really knowing what to expect.  All I was told was we would be doing a signing of the calendars and mingle.  Those who wanted to participate in the ’strip’ poker game had already volunteered.  I had agreed to this. 

Because I was tardy, I entered through the front door of the casino to greet a line of people.  Mostly men.  I was directed by a worker as to were to go.  Which, of course, was ‘follow that line of people’.  Now, I know us MILF’s were supposedly a draw to get people to the casino for a poker tournament, but what was this line exactly for?  As I walked confidently along the line of ‘mostly men’, I heard whispers and the typical “daaaamn!’.  (I always roll my eyes when I hear that..with my head turn, of course)  I assume it is my size dd breasts but I like ‘em. :)  I turn the corner to see a long table with 9 beautiful MILFs seated with Sharpies in hand and permanent smiles.   I was shocked.  Were these ‘mostly men’ seriously waiting this long to meet us and receive our signature?  Ok, time to put my game face on.  I find the MILF I know the best and am certain remembers me.  She genuinely smiles at me and is truly excited to see me.  My heart slows down instantly.  I am given a chair almost immediately as if the word got out that I had entered the building.   The 2006 MILF scooted her chair to make room.  I joined the MILF’s with a permanent smile which was surprisingly genuine.   We brought many smiles to the guests in line just by being there.  Was it all just because they want to have sexual relations with us or did they have a certain respect for us?  Or was it  because they had already a few too many?  I really don’t mind the reason.  It was fun for me and obviously for them or they wouldn’t have been there.  Some ‘mostly men’ got in line again to get the May MILF’s signature, which was me.

I asked some of the other MILF’s if they were going to do the ’strip poker’  None of us were too excited for it.  I had come prepared with a couple of bikinis, after all I did agree to do it.  The dreadful announcement came for the MILF’s participating in the game to come to the table.  I had already put my bikini on under my clothes but remained hesitant.  Clearly I am not getting naked, but still it was scary.   Will I lose respect for doing this?  Will some jerk take a picture with his phone and put it on THAT website to focus on my imperfections?  Standing near the table, I saw only 2 MILF’s seated.   It turns out, the casino was pretty upset that only 2  MILF’s were sitting at the table and the manager on duty was pushing the radio station to get more MILFs.  The radio station workers appeared to be in a pickle.  On one side, they respect ‘their MILF’s’ and don’t feel comfortable pushing us to play strip poker.  On the other side, it did appear that they made a commitment to the casino to provide MILF’s for strip poker.  It got very quiet and the remaining MILF’s tried to avoid making eye contact to the radio station or the casino manager on stage.  I knew the MILF’s standing with me on the side didn’t have any bikini’s on to play and we had already stalled too long.  Reluctantly, I walked to the table to play.  I would be stripping to the very same bikini I wear to the public pool with my kids. 

I am part of the ’MILF community’ and receive it as a compliment.   I enjoy motherhood, feeling sexy, and am self-confident.  I am a MILF. 

Posted in parents, Weekend | Print | 1 Comment »